I remember as a child, sitting on the couch late at night with my mom watching television. We would curl up with two ice cold glasses of Dr. Pepper. (Yes, I was a Dr. Pepper addict at an early age.) Inevitably, I would always ask my mom for a sip of her drink, and soon, she would find her glass with nothing but ice. She would always ask me why I didn’t drink my own, and I would always respond that hers tasted better than mine.
This has been a reoccurring theme in my life.
This is probably the reason I am obsessed with redecorating my house. The walls of my house have so many layers of paint, that we should really get a discount on our homeowner’s insurance for the extra layer of insulation.
Sometimes late at night, I get on the Internet and search for houses on the market. I even look for houses in different towns, different states. There is an excitement in imagining what life would be like somewhere else, somewhere different. I imagine my family and I sitting in the floor of our cozy new house, eating Chinese takeout on top of our makeshift table of unpacked boxes.
This could also explain why I changed my major in college three times. Yes, you heard me correctly, THREE TIMES!
I feel a little jealous of people who never want to remodel their house or never desire to move. They are content with life as they know it. They are perfectly fine with things just the way they are.
Sometimes, I feel a great deal of shame even admitting I feel this way.
As Christians, we are supposed to be content. God doesn’t want us to be restless and always looking for something better, trying to fill a void that only He can fill.
This reminds me so much of how Eve must have felt. She and Adam had everything. It was heaven on Earth. They could enjoy every single tree, but one. Just one measly tree!
Genesis 3:6 describes it:
So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.
The tree looked more appealing than what she had in front of her. I’m sure she imagined how her life could be different, eating from this particular tree.
If we are completely honest with ourselves, we all struggle with sin and we all struggle in different ways.
I don’t know why we are too afraid to talk about our struggles. It doesn’t make us any less of a Christian to admit our shortcoming and failures.
Thankfully, we hold onto the promise that Jesus died for our sins. He sees our imperfections and the messes we make, yet it doesn’t scare Him away. He loves us just like we are, mess and all. He doesn’t look for something better than us. His desire is for us to grow with Him.
There is comfort in knowing He loves me and my wilted grass. I have to remind myself, I just need to keep watering my own grass, instead of searching for better. I have noticed I start searching for something different or what I perceive to be better when I feel stressed. Isn’t it strange, that’s how temptation seems to creep into our lives?
This is something I have struggled with my entire life, and God patiently reminds me to just be still and cast my cares on Him. He is what replenishes me and gives life to my wilted grass. It’s all about perspective. It’s all about priorities.
In Philippians 1:6, Paul reminds us, “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
If you are like me, instead of running toward the prettier, greener, Bermuda grass, focus on the great work God is doing in you right now. You’ve got to start below the surface. You’ve got to dig down deep and take a good look at the parts of yourself you don’t let people see, because that is where the grass will begin to grow!